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父亲二三事之官场透明人

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爸爸过去已经快三年了。中国人对死,是很忌讳的。我妈起初都不敢对别人说我爸的事,生怕被人嫌弃自己身上沾了死气。按照乡下的习俗,爸爸的衣物用具,尾七的时候都烧掉了,据说他在地下用得到。不过我感觉这么做,更多是想摆脱他的一切,不想和死亡产生任何关联。所以现在家里几乎看不到他的东西。睹物思人的机会断绝了,但他说的话做的事,有时候还是会不由自主地在心里冒出头来。

我爸是个小官僚,四套班子内任职。上百万人的县城里,从一把手县委书记排起,应该能排进前五十。但这是根据职衔的排名,就是如果所有机关人员开大会,会议手册名单上的排名。算实权的话,应该远远落在各乡镇领导和县局局长之后,那就不知道要排到第几百名去了。

从任职履历上看,我爸从大学毕业分配到农村担任技术员,然后当农场干部,一路走到退休,从没在任何单位做过一把手,连二把手也从来没有过。我妈经常说我爸是官儿迷,但是有贼心没贼胆,做不了大事,自然也就当不了大官。我深以为然。有好几次我留意到我爸反习惯地开电视看地方新闻重播,就因为里面出现了自己,想反复体味一下镜头前的感觉。官场那些东西,我爸琢磨得很多。有段时间我看官场小说入迷,在饭桌上讲起书中的经验之谈,被我爸狠狠鄙视了一番,说你连政府架构里谁大谁小都没弄清楚,就来胡说八道。他说我无知固然是没错,不过作为报复,我也在心里鄙视他,你什么都懂,可是也没见有啥用。我爸当公务员三四十年,官场存在感约等于零。这不仅仅是家里人的印象,基本上所有人都这么看。

我上初中的时候,农场里调来一个我爸的老乡做书记。他是一把手,我爸是副场长、四把手,中间隔着一个正场长一个副场长。之前我爸老是挨欺负,作为整个农场一只手数得过来的大学毕业生、农艺师,经常给安排去做完全不对口且又吃力不讨好的工作。我记得那时候督拆违章建筑就是我爸负责。农村里这种事儿最难搞,没谁愿意乖乖听话,把辛辛苦苦建起来的窝棚茅棚全拆掉。接连一个月我家门前一直有人过夜。就是蹲在那里,过一会儿撞一次门,说不能拆啊不能拆,拆了我家就没了,场长你一定要帮帮忙。弄得全家上下没法安稳睡觉。还有个鲁莽的家伙直接闯进家里开骂,把饭桌上的面碗给拿起来摔了。就因为这个,我妈和我爸吵架规模连升三级。

新书记是我爸同乡,在农村那种亲朋交错藤蔓相连的地方,还攀得上远亲。他来了以后,我爸算是有了人撑腰,日子好过许多。不过好景不长,有天半夜,我爸给人叫出去,到中午才回来,什么也不说,只是面色凝重。后来才知道,那个书记和广播台的播音员偷情,给二把手三把手捉奸在床,半夜里叫我爸去,是要他做个见证。

那时候生活作风问题很严重,书记就此给发落到另一个乡当小职员去了。我爸唏嘘了好久,说书记管不住小弟弟,自毁长城不说,还有脸埋怨我爸事前不通气,事后不替他说话,真的是不知所谓。

从马后炮的角度来看,作为书记同气连枝的盟友,我爸如果提前发现了端倪,就应该及时劝诫如此不端且危险的行为。到后来被抓现行,也的确应该尽量想办法替他脱身。不过这怨不得我爸。我们大部分人,就像我爸一样,有当官拿权的想往,却没有做政治人物的觉悟。头上人掌权,是他们自己的事情,他们做了什么决定,自己一般都会支持,有什么交代,也会尽力完成。干涉他们的生活或者决策乃至于替他们担责任,这种事就不太可能。14年的时候,给一位县委书记做事,他就老是抱怨,一把手负责制压力太大,所有人都看着自己,一丁点责任都不愿意担。后来看《正午》,更能体会这种孤独和无力。

总之我爸这样的脾性,的确更适合做技术人员而不是官员。不过官场里呆久了,耳濡目染了一套似是而非的做法和习气。有时候他会在人前讲县委书记县长还有人大主任跟他的交情,细节到对方给自己添饭时说的亲切话语,让在一旁的我瞠目结舌、坐立难安。不过但凡有人想托他做出格的事情,总是马上抱歉认怂,说自己能力不足以胜任,不如另寻高明。经历多了,亲戚朋友就都没把我爸当成官来看,觉得了不起算是个没用的老好人。

不过老好人也有发威的时候。有段时间楼下新开一个建材铺,每天不分昼夜切割钢管,吵得邻里没法安宁,我妈这样的神经衰弱者尤甚。所以在邻居登门找我爸一起去理论的时候,他就理所当然地牵了头。结果是被油盐不进的老板骂了回来。回家以后我爸就开始拼命查通讯录打电话,嘴里念念叨叨十分地气愤,因为对方讲“我等着你,看你有多大本事能让我停下来。”这是在赤裸裸地冒犯我爸的尊严。最后我爸还是找对了人,那家建材铺不再在中午和深夜干活儿。他对此深以为得意,念念不忘向我妈表功,大概是因为终于做了一件显示官威的正经事。

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