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00528特朗普谎话说太多被推特标记
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00528特朗普谎话说太多被推特标记

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话说这位长毛怪夏天是怎么熬过去的,从小就懂得泡脚,给自己降降温


前年学车时刚好赶上放暑假,学车的人特多!
一部车上有30多人!
闲暇之余,我们大家在一起聊天,谁练的好啊,哪个倒库又标准呀,侧方、S弯也都不错等……
我是天生学啥东西慢,学了一个月了,倒库还不行,也不好意思说话,最后竟然议论到我怎么这么笨?一人起哄,大家接着就吵吵起来了,要说还是同村的哥们小张帮我解了围,说我长这么大,连个智齿都没长,所以笨 蛋一个……-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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校草面试有加分吗?

**

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贞子咖啡


那年和初恋分手后,我郁抑成疾,满脑子只会想着如何寻找一种华丽而悲壮的方式,来给我短暂的一生划上个句号。
在衡量了世人自裁的种种憋端后,我产生了一个神奇的想法:买块豆腐撞 死得了!
于是我来到了大街上,趁着豆腐摊老板不注意,跳起来,一头向那块磨盘大的豆腐撞去。。
​那一天,我一举成名,成了一个天大的笑话!!-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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图书馆星际穿越


我老公早上起床气呼呼的,我问他咋了
他说做梦娶媳妇了
我说娶媳妇是好事啊,为啥气呼呼?
他说马上洞房啦,掀开盖头发现还是你-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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妹子受苦了。。。


跟渣男分手快两个月了,偶然发现他还在用我的会员账号看视频和电视剧,于是悄悄锁定他的电视进度,终于在他看到大结局前一集时改了密码…
-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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六环上的移动城堡


数学老师走进教室说你们体育老师病了,这节课上数学,全班正心中无限吐槽的时候。
体育老师吊儿郎当的声音响起“3班3班,3班团灭了吗?”随后就见他潇洒一推我们班教室门。
抬头看见数学老师,愣了一秒,弱弱地说了句“难道……我……我难道又病了?”
永远也忘不了数学老师当时的表情。-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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终于拿到手了,我也到了该吃这个的年纪了?有认识的吗?


前一段时间一客户在闲扯时问我有没有什么车能开出钓鱼的,路太差迈巴赫不好开,我想了想,给他推荐了皮卡,既能钓 鱼,又能让工人拉 货,价格还便宜!
今天给我打电话说:你还别说,皮卡就是有劲,什么路都不在话下,工人拉货也方便,就是价格不便宜啊!我想想不应该啊,皮卡能有多贵,问他买的啥皮卡,他回我: 猛 禽
我:……-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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华尔街日报报道,推特在川普的贴上标记内容需要证实,也就是说川普撒谎的贴都被推特贴记号了。


回家时听见媳妇笑得哈哈哈的,就问道:啥事这么开心,媳妇:你儿子就像只王八,翻过去就翻不过来了,
说着就把五个多月的娃翻过去趴着,然后指着四肢乱抓的娃道:你看、你看、像不像!像不像……-- Delivered by Feed43 service


以前喜欢上了本厂的一个女工,不敢表白,就央求当质检员的表哥帮忙撮合下,并且托他捎去我写的好几封情书!。。
几年后,我去表哥家看望二姨和二姨父。表嫂,也就是那个女工,抱​着他们三岁的儿子,说起了他们的罗曼史,盛赞表哥文笔不错,当年写的情书如何如何板扎,深深打动了她的心!然后声情并茂的背诵了几大段给我听。。
我惊呆了!特么的,那不是当年劳资写的吗,怎么变成表哥的了?!。。。​-- Delivered by Feed43 service


旧手机 备 份要传到新手机上,老公问我微 信 密码,这我哪记得。
扣 扣 密 码是多少,我也不记得。
老公脸色不好了,扣 扣 号是多少?
我小声说也不记得了…
然后这货就暴走模式了,因为他紧跟着又问了我一句:“你老公是哪个记得不?”-- Delivered by Feed43 service


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原创文章,作者:Heresy,如若转载,请注明出处:https://here.sy/60.html
钓鱼吧这老哥除了钓不到鱼,到什么都会
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