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弱者报复,强者原谅,智者忽略

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爱因斯坦说过:弱者报复,强者原谅,智者忽略。

人生在世,难免会遇到各种矛盾。

有些弱者,总是难以释怀,一心想要报复别人,在不知不觉间,也活成了恶人的模样;

有些强者,往往能看到事情背后的原因,能真心地谅解别人,修得善心;

而那些智者,却能忽略一切,专注于自我,最终笑看人生;

其实,这恰恰对应了为人处世的三种立场,和人生的三种境界。

你能站在什么样的立场上看待别人,就决定了你最终能抵达怎样的境界。


弱者报复

去年冬天,幼儿园老师给表姐儿子布置了一个作业,每天练习拍球。

表姐怕外面冷,就带着儿子在家拍,想着才晚上8点,也不会影响到别人。

不巧,邻居老刘上1点的夜班,这会儿正在睡觉,被吵到了,很不爽,就故意在12点左右搞动静。

几天后,表姐一家受不了,姐夫找老刘商量,结果双方互不让步,不欢而散,两家从此杠上了。

两家先是抢占楼道里的公共空间,表姐把旧电动车放了上来,堵得老刘过路很不方便。

老刘就用烟头烫死了表姐种的花,表姐就直接去扔老刘的东西。

后来老刘急了,有天晚上出门时,故意开着音响放了一晚的歌。

一晚没睡的姐夫,第二天就去找老刘理论,两人一言不合,就在楼道里打了起来。

小区保安赶到的时候,两个鼻青脸肿的人正在地上撕扯,楼道里一片破败狼藉。

最终,双方都进了警局,闹得人尽皆知,赔出去好几万不说,还搞得一身伤。

表姐一家对邻居的态度,其实是一种意向立场。

就像是小孩子对待抢他玩具的小朋友的态度一样,不管什么原因,就去抢就去闹,一定要让这个小朋友还给自己才满意,这是一种低级的处世立场:

一遇到问题就诉诸于情绪,常常是冤冤相报,两败俱伤,还会让内心越来越狭隘。

这样的人,常常是生活的失败者。


强者原谅

我之前在一家公司实习的时候,犯了一个大错。

刚进公司的时候,我表现不错,领导对我也很放心,经常把一些重要任务交给我。

有次,公司要举行一个合伙人会议,领导要上台演讲,不过他当时很忙,没时间做PPT,就把文稿发给我让我做。

结果,我把其中很重要的一页里面的公司名字和数据给打错了。

领导当时也比较急,草草看了一遍,也没发现错误。

结果会议当天,很多合伙人看到后,就拿这事调侃起了老总,让老总很丢面子。

回头,老总把领导叫到办公室里狠批了一顿,说了很多难听的话。

当我看到脸色涨红的领导时,心想这下完蛋了。

可领导并没有对我发火,而是苦笑着对我说了一句:

这次错不在你,是我疏忽了,不要有心理压力,小伙子犯个错很正常,不过以后做事一定要细心点。

听完这句话,我内心满是感动和愧疚,从那以后,我干活越来越用心仔细。

最近听说这位领导又升了职,我真是一点也不意外。

领导对待我的立场是一种设计立场。

就像是一个人对待一块不走的手表,他不会因为上班迟到,而去惩罚手表。而是从自身找原因,理解手表不走是因为自己忘上弦,这是一种高级的处世立场:

凡事冷静看待,能从背后理解到别人这样做的原因,为人豁达真诚,内心强大。

这样的人,就是那些生活中的强者。


智者忽略

二战期间,甘地因不忍被英国殖民者残酷压榨,想要带领印度民众把英国人赶走。

可在当时,这个想法无异于做白日梦。

当时的印度极其落后,各种宗教纷争不断,很多人徘徊在饿死的边缘,想带领这些人去对抗英国的飞机大炮,实在荒唐。

但手无寸铁的甘地做到了。

他召集了一群赤手空拳的平民,去英军驻守的地方去无声抗议,他告诫大家,无论英军怎么打我们,就当什么也没发生。

英军看到后就开始暴力镇压,拿枪打他们、拿刀砍他们。他们既不还手,也不闪躲,只是一直向前走。

倒下了,就接着爬起来;死掉一个,后面接着补位;无数人头顶鲜血继续前进,一点都不在乎英军的伤害。

他们身上显现出一股无形却又坚不可摧的力量。

英军被这个场面吓傻了:他们真的什么都不怕。

后来,这事传回了英国,很多英国人觉得这太过残忍,绅士风度丢尽,也开始抗议。

同时追随甘地的人越来越多,英国高层最终受不住各界压力,撤出了印度。

爱因斯坦得知后禁不住感慨:

后世的子孙也许很难相信,世上竟然真地活生生出现过这样的人。

为人处世的最高境界,就是对伤害不在乎。甘地正是以一种物理立场来面对这些英国人。

这是一种最高级的处世立场:

不为外界所扰动,就是用一种纯粹客观的眼光看待所有的人和事,越不在乎,越是强大,正如佛教中的无为一样。

这样的人,就是真正的智者,世界因他们而改变。


朱利安·阿桑奇说过:“故事就在那里,关键是你所看到的是哪一个故事。”
想要成就更高的人生境界,就一定要先学会改变自己的立场。

让自己脱离低级情绪的烦扰;脱离冤冤相报的轮回。

像强者一样思考,像智者一样行事,这样便会清风自来,成功在即。

愿你成为这样的人。

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