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00616不黑不吹,这翻译绝了
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00616不黑不吹,这翻译绝了

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带着儿子在我老爸家吃饭,老爸很感兴趣的问我儿子:你说说,你有什么理想?
儿子说:我的理想很简单,做一个安安静静的富,二,代!​
老爸挥手说:这个理想实现不了!换一个!
儿子不高兴的说:我就只有这个理想,不换!

老爸叹气说:都说​穷 不过三代,可咱们家都已经穷了十八代了,还是没有一点要发起来的样子。
儿子看看我,又看看他爷爷说:主要是怪你们爷俩不努力,不然,我早就是富,二,代​了!。。

​老爸恼了,怪我没有教育好儿子,揪着我,狠狠揍了我一顿。。。


.jpg

这翻译绝了


发了几张我正在不收费风景区的图片到D音,收到好些回复,太美了、真好、我都想把它们当屏保了
跳出来一条不太和谐的评论…美女,可不可以发些纯图的,每一张你都在里边有点破坏意境
呼气,吸气,我不生气!
过了会又看,那个评论上的赞比我发的图片都高!


.jpg

神预言


跟老婆闹矛盾!
老婆一气之下要离家出走,拉着行李箱、挎着小包走至门口时,我冲上去一把夺过她的小包,看了下,里面根本没啥钱,怕她出去没钱受苦,于是我掏出我仅有的私房钱200块塞她包里了,不成想这婆娘抓住包一摔,骂到:跟你过了这么久,今天我算是看透你了,巴不得我离家出走是不是?好再领一个进来对吧,好,这个婚 离 定了!


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你当我包拯何在?


以前,我俩感情日深。有天晚上,我洗完藻,就披着湿漉的长发,喜滋滋的试婚纱。
男友进来,我转头看他,他却一声惨叫。我40码的鞋底摔他脸上,“叫丧啊”
他哆嗦说“我小学偷看《午夜凶铃》,贞子正从电视往外爬。可CD卡了,年少的我又不敢靠前,昏灯下,我俩对峙很久,我盯着她,她不错眼的盯着我。像极了现在的你..”。。妮玛中毒了


.jpeg

用机柜装游戏机,防尘、布线、散热、收纳、使用一站式完美解决,适合机器巨多的大佬们。


刚结婚时,陪老婆回娘家,半 夜就听到丈母娘在训小姨子:你也老大不小了,能不能长点心!平时没饭你吃吗?别人家姑娘来客人,连水都不敢喝,怕上厕所尴尬,你说你吃 撑 也吧了,这大半夜不睡觉,在房间里跑 步消食,还让不让别人睡 觉了?
小姨子:谁让姐夫他们在我面前秀恩爱的,欺负我 单 身。。。。。


.jpg

今年的生意太难做了


以前在工地上干活的时候,表姐介绍了一个女孩子,见面后,觉得还不错。
相处了一个月,她生日快到了。我为送什么礼物发愁,并打电话向我表姐讨教。
表姐说,第一次送女孩子生日礼物,最好是那种与众不同,而又能让人眼前一亮的礼物。
哎呀,这事对我这样工地上班的人来说,简直太好办了。
她生日那天,我扛着一台崭新的电焊机,气喘吁吁的敲开了她家的房门。


.jpg

这是为什么呢?


小时候,我发小的爷爷发高烧,咳嗽,喘的厉害,在我家诊所躺床上输液。
他爷爷输到第三瓶的时候终于退烧,也不咳嗽不喘了。我赶紧跑去告诉我发小:你爷爷凉了!你爷爷不喘了!
发小一家一听,老老少少都一边哭着,一边扛着锄头跑过来了...


.jpg

有没有效果我不知道,但他真的伤的挺重的 ​​​


工地有几位山东的工友,年纪轻轻的也都三个孩子,我就问他们:为什么要那么多孩子啊,负担多重啊。他们说:我们常年在外打工,一年有十个月在外边,孩子多,老婆自己照顾,一天老婆忙的晕头转向的就没时间给我们带帽子了大笑大笑大笑大笑大笑大笑大笑大笑大笑[大笑]


灵魂拷问


看到那么多表白的。
忍不住跟老公抱怨说:520表白日,你咋啥都没意思一下呢?
谁知这货说:昨天和今天上午给你的红包谁收的?你是人不在线还是智商不在线.....
我 能说我睡一觉忘了么?
捂脸


美帝生活


上午参加一个公司的开业庆典!
坐我边上的一位大姐在给另一位大姐说投资,我听了半天,应该是类似比特币这种

原创文章,作者:Heresy,如若转载,请注明出处:https://here.sy/167.html
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